GROUPS to Overcome Self Sabotage
GROUPS FOR OVERCOMING SELF SABOTAGE AND ABANDONMENT
Dear Recovering Outer Children,
Those of you involved in Outer Child support groups (and setting up abandoholics anonymous groups) are helping each other heal your collective wounds and overcome your patterns of self-sabotage.
Outer Child groups gain their depth and dynamic from zeroing in on the issue of abandonment – the source of most self-defeating patterns.
Creating Outer Child – Abandonment groups is as easy as following a recipe. Groups can be facilitated on a peer-to-peer basis. An easy-to-follow self-help format and 50 topic questions are available – enough to keep your groups running for a year or more.
You can also get Training in Outer Child and Abandonment Recovery techniques from the author. Attend one of Susan’s workshops.
Use this link to join the member services at our sister website, abandonment.net, to:
- Find a group in your area
- Post your interest in joining or starting a group so others can find you
- Download the self-help format and 50 topic questions
- Download WORKBOOK for step-by-step exercises for Outer Child - Abandonment Recovery, Akeru, 12 steps of emotional and spiritual healing, S.W.I.R.L., more.
For Mental Health Professionals
Additional services for therapists include:
- Post your professional services so prospective clients can find you.
- Download 25 Professional Group Recipes. You’ll find lots of additional clinical information.
All visitors to these sites can view your postings; whereas only members can post.
Author's Workshops
UPCOMING APPEARANCES (workshop descriptions)
New York Open Center in Manhattan, Saturday May 19, 2012 10:00 A.M. – 5:30 P.M. All day workshop: Abandonment to Healing: Overcoming Your Outer Child Patterns of Self-sabotage. Register at 212 219 2527 http://www.opencenter.org/journey-from-abandonment-to-healing-overcoming-self-defeating-patterns/
Esalen Institute in Big Sur, Ca. June 24 – 29 2012 6-day intensive workshop in Healing Abandonment, Taming Outer Child. Register 831 667 3005 www.esalen.org.
Breitenbush Hot Springs, Oregon July 20-22 2012. Three day workshop in Abandonment Recovery: Overcoming your Outer Child Patterns of Self-Sabotage. Register at 503 854 3320 or www.breitenbush.com.
Esalen Institute in Big Sur, Ca. Oct 28 – Nov 2 2012 6-day intensive workshop in Healing Abandonment, Taming Outer Child. Register 831 667 3005 www.esalen.org.
BACKLOG
Kripalu in Mass. April 27 - 29 2012. Three day workshop in Outer Child - Abandonment Recovery. Register at http://www.kripalu.org/presenter/V0000781/susan_anderson or call 800 741 7353.
Esalen Institute in Big Sur, Ca. Oct 30 - Nov 4 2011. 6-day intensive workshop in Healing Abandonment, Taming Outer Child. Register 831 667 3005 www.esalen.org.
New York News 12 JobLine Sept 15th, 2011
New York Open Center in Manhattan, Sunday Nov 13 2011 10:00 A.M. - 5:30 P.M. All day workshop: Abandonment to Healing: Overcoming Your Patterns of Self-sabotage. Register at 212 219 2527 http://www.opencenter.org/journey-from-abandonment-to-healing-overcoming-self-defeating-patterns/
Breitenbush Hot Springs, Oregon July 29-31 2011. Three day workshop in Abandonment Recovery: Overcoming your Outer Child Patterns of Self-Sabotage. Register at 503 854 3320 or www.breitenbush.com.
Kripalu in Mass. May 6-8 2011. Three day workshop in Outer Child - Abandonment Recovery. Register at http://www.kripalu.org/presenter/V0000781/susan_anderson or call 800 741 7353.
Esalen Institute in Big Sur, Ca. April 10 - 15 2011. 6-day intensive workshop in Healing Abandonment, Taming Outer Child. Register 831 667 3005 www.esalen.org.
TalkRadioOne with Steven Spierer http://www.talkradioone.com/files/SS040211.mp3 April 2 2011
| PositiveLivingRadio with Patricia Raskin: | |
| http://rcpt.yousendit.com/1086682149/ef59505b2d6b864676d36dff40e30197 April 3 2011 | |
New York Open Center in Manhattan, Sunday Marh 27 2011 10:00 A.M. - 5:30 P.M. All day workshop: Abandonment to Healing: Overcoming Your Outer Chid Patterns of Self-sabotage. Register at 212 219 2527 www.opencenter.org.
Sirius XM, Channel 114, Topic: "Men's Health" with Dr. Joe Alukel on "Dr. Radio" Jan 19 2011 6:30 PM EST
Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California Oct 17-22 2010. 6-day intensive Abandonment Recovery Workshop(featuring Outer Child therapy). Register at 831 667 3005 www.esalen.org.
San Quentin State Prison, PreRelease Program, Marin County, Oct 23 2010 12:00 Noon Healing Abandonment Workshop.
Breitenbush Hot Springs, Oregon July 16-18 2010. Three day workshop in Abandonment Recovery: Overcoming your Outer Child Patterns of Self-Sabotage. Register at 503 854 3320 or www.breitenbush.com.
New York Open Center in Manhattan, Sunday June 13 2010 10:00 A.M. - 5:30 P.M. All day workshop: Abandonment to Healing: Overcoming Your Patterns of Self-sabotage. Register at 212 219 2527 www.opencenter.org.
Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California May 9 - 14th 2010 6-day intensive Abandonment Recovery Workshop v(featuring Outer Child therapy). Register at 831 667 3005 www.esalen.org.
Tucson Arizona April 25 2009. All-day intensive Abandonment Recovery Workshop at Divorce Recovery, register 520-297-2845 or www.nancybautzmann.com
Breitenbush Hot Springs, Oregon July 24-26 2009. Three day workshop in Abandonment Recovery. Register at 503 854 3320 or www.breitenbush.com.
Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California Oct 11 - 16 2009, 6-day intensive Abandonment Recovery Workshop. Register at 831 667 3005 www.esalen.org.
Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California Winter 2009, January 18-23 2009 6 -day intensive Abandonment Recovery Workshop. Register at 831 667 3005 www.esalen.org.
Kripalu in Mass. Feb 6-8, 2009. Three day workshop in Abandonment Recovery. Register at www.kripalu.org or call 800 741 7353.
New York Open Center in Manhattan, Sunday Feb 15, 2009 10:00 A.M. - 5:30 P.M. All day workshop in Abandonment Therapy. Register at 212 219 2527 www.opencenter.org.
AAUW Long Island Lecture on "Exploring an Alternative Concept of Race" Monday November 17 2008 1:30-2:30 Sterling Glen 100 Landing Rd, Roslyn NY 516 626 6900.
Adelphi University, Authors Roundtable November 12 2008 6-8:00, Alumni House, Garden City, New York
Huntington NY Life Center October 30, 2008, Thursday evening workshop starting at 7:00 PM, register at 631 673 5433
New York Open Center in Manhattan Sept 28, 2008 10:00 A.M. - 5:30 P.M. All day workshop in Abandonment Therapy. Register at 212 219 2527 www.opencenter.org.
Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California Fall 2008, August 31 - Sept 5 2008. 6-day intensive Abandonment Recovery Workshop. Register at 831 667 3005 www.esalen.org.
Breitenbush Hot Springs, Oregon July 25-27 2008. Three day workshop in Abandonment Recovery. Register at 503 854 3320 or www.breitenbush.com.
February 28 2008 Huntington NY, Life Center Counseling -- Evening workshop starting at 7:00 PM, register at 631 673 5433
New York Open Center in Manhattan March 30, 2008 10:00 A.M. - 5:30 P.M. All day workshop in Abandonment Therapy. Register at 212 219 2527 www.opencenter.org.
Kripalu in Mass. May 30 - June 1 2008. Three day workshop in Abandonment Recovery. Register at www.kripalu.org or call 800 741 7353.
Pura Vida in Costa Rica May 10- 16 2008, a intensive workshop in Abandonment Recovery. Advance Registration
Learn more at http://www.puravidaspa.com/puravidaspa/planning/calendar.aspx?sortby=sty... (cancelled)
New York Open Center in Manhattan November 17, 2007 10:00 A.M. - 5:30 P.M. All day workshop in Abandonment Therapy. Register at 212 219 2527 www.opencenter.org.
Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California Sept 2 - 7, 2007.
6-day intensive Abandonment Recovery Workshop. Register at 831 667 3005 www.esalen.org.
Learning Annex, San Francisco Calif, June 12, 2007 6:30-9:30P.M. Register 415 788 5500 or www.learningannex.com
Breitenbush Hot Springs in Detroit Oregon July 27-29, 2007 Three day workshop in Abandonment Recovery. Register at 503 854 3320 or www.breitenbush.com.
Interview appearance on Hallmark Channel, New Morning "Journey from Abandonment" April 10 2007
Interview apparance on "Hearbreak and Abandonment" on CBS Early Show Feb 14 2007.
Kripalu in Mass. April 27 – 29, 2007 Three day workshop in Abandonment Recovery. Register at www.kripalu.org or call 800 741 7353.
New York Open Center in Manhattan March 4, 2007 10:00 A.M. - 5:30 P.M. All day workshop in Abandonment Therapy. Register at 212 219 2527 www.opencenter.org.
New York Open Center in Manhattan October 29, 3006 All-day Abandonment Recovery Workshop 10:00 A.M. – 5:30 P.M. To register please go to www.opencenter.org or call 212 219 2527.
Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California September 3 - 8, 2006 Susan’s 6 day intensive workshop on Abandonment Recovery. Register 831 667 3005 www.esalen.org.
Breitenbush Hot Springs in Detroit Oregon July 28-30, 2006 Three day workshop in Abandonment Recovery. Register at 503 854 3312 or events@breitenbush.com.
Kripalu in Mass. April 7 – 9, 2006. Three day workshop in Abandonment Recovery. Register at www.kripalu.org or call 800 741 7353.
July 12 11:15-11:25AM ET
AUGUST 4 - 11:40-11:55 AMET
WSDE Radio- Albany, Schenectady, NY
Katherine Zox program
AUGUST 1 - 6:25AMPT/ 9:25AMET
CRN Radio Satellite Network Los Angeles, CA (CRN Digital Talk)
live national phone interview
Morning show - 10 minute interview
Jack Roberts
August 1- Monday 2PM MT/ 4PM ET
KRKS 94/7 KNUS 710 - Denver CO
Colorado Literacy Program
Host: Rich Cattarello
25 minute interview
August 2 - Tuesday 7:45PMPT/ 10:45PMET
Mary Jane Popp Show - KSAC Radio - Sacramento, CA Host: Mary Jane Popp
August 4 - 9:15-9:45AM ET approx.
Colonel Bob in the Morning
WIUOZ Radio- Raleigh/Durham NC
morning show
August 4- 11-noon PT/ 2-3PMET
KKNW - 1150AM Seattle WA
Pat Bacilli host
one hour show
AUGUST 4 - 11:40-11:55 AMET
WSDE Radio- Albany, Schenectady, NY
Katherine Zox program
August 17 -Wednesday 7-8PMET (6-7PMCT) one hour show
KAXE Radio- Grand Rapids Michigan
REAL GOOD WORDS SHOW - host is Heidi Holtan
Monday, October 24 5:30-5:45PMET
WAIF/ WRRS in Cincinnati Ohio
Mark Dewitt - host
JUNE 30 8:10-8:30 AM. WVMT Radio - Burlington, Colchester, Vermont and Canada
Morning Show with Charlie and Ernie. Charllie Papillo
JULY 8 -8:05-8:15 AM (10 minutes). WTBQ RADIO- NYC and Rockland County
Frank Truatt Morning Show
July 12 11:15-11:25AM ET (10 minutes). WSDE Radio- Albany, Schenectady, NY
Katherine Zox program
July 13 Wednesday 3:33-3:52PMET (20 minutes). Louisiana Live on Louisiana State Radio Network. 20 minute interview. Don Grady host and producer
July 19- 6:25AMPT/ 9:25AMET- RESCHEDULED TO 8/1
CRN Radio Satellite Network Los Angeles, CA (CRN Digital Talk)
live national phone interview
Morning show
July 20 5:44PMET (4:44PMCT) for 12 to 15 minutes. Drive Time radio show - WKCT Radio Bowling Green/Pedukah, KY
drivetime@93WKCT.COM
July 20 Wednesday July 20 11:45- noon CT/12:45-1:00PMET.
WFRX Radio, Clear Channel Radio - Marion IL & Northern IL.
15 minute interview
July 21 -Thursday 5:25-5:55PM ET. WRTN RADIO - NYC/Tri State Area
Dr. Dan Miller -host Real 25-30 minute interview
July 22 12:10 -1PMET - (moved from July 15)
Karen Stratman show on KLPW radio - St. Louis MO
October 30, 3005 New York Open Center all-day Abandonment Recovery Workshop 10:00 A.M. – 5:30 P.M. To register please go to www.opencenter.org or call 212 219 2527.
October 2 - 7, 2005 Big Sur, California @ Esalen Institute, Susan’s 6 day intensive workshop on Abandonment Recovery. Register 831 667 3005 www.esalen.org.
February 20, 2005 Voice America with Patricia Raskin 6:00 PM.
May 19, 2005 Cleveland, Ohio, MetroHealth Conference, Keynote address: “Impact of Unresolved Abandonment on Relationships, How to Heal,” 1:00 – 3:00. For information, call 216 778 7800.
Early May 2005 Ireland, Intensive Workshop on Abandonment Recovery, details to be announced.
January 4, 2005 WBAI 8:30 AM "Wake Up Call" with Bernard.
January 13-16. 2005 Manhattan @ New York Open Center, Intensive training for mental health professionals, “Learning Techniques of Abandonment Recovery.” Register 212 219 2527 www.opencenter.org.
December 13, 2004 Radio Talk Show: “Positive Living” WTKF- 107.3 with Patricia Raskin 2:00 EST
October 17, 2004 Manhattan @ New York Open Center, Susan’s all day workshop: Journey from Abandonment, 10:30 – 6:00. Register 212 219 2527 www.opencenter.org.
May 2–7, 2004 Big Sur, California @ Esalen Institute, Susan’s 6 day intensive workshop on Abandonment Recovery. Register 831 667 3005 www.esalen.org .
April 28, 2004 Hofstra University, Long Island, New York, Lecture: “Impact of Abandonment Trauma on Children and Learning,” 2:30-4:00 P.M., Student Union.
April 18, 2004 Manhattan @ IWWG Writer’s Conference, Lecture: “Writing as Healing Tool for Abandonment.” For information about time and registration, call 212 737 9469 iwwg@iwwg.org.
April 6, 2004 California KPFK.org Radio Talk Show: “Real Time” with Nita Vallens, 4:00 EST.
Ongoing: Manhattan and Long Island, Individual psychotherapy, couples counseling.
Group Training
Group Training in Outer Child / Abandonment Recovery Techniques is experiential. You learn by performing exercises and sharing feedback within a supportive group setting. Susan creates a safe, open, working, life-changing process within the group. Through training you:
• Target Outer Child patterns of self sabotage. Outer Child is an overarching concept that encompasses defense mechanisms, character traits, knee-jerk reactions, habits and compulsions – all of your maladaptive behavior patterns.
• Identify emotional triggers.
• Connect dots between automatic defenses and primal abandonment fear.
• Learn exercises that redirect attachment energy toward learning healthy new “automatic” behaviors.
• Practice using new power tools to break through obstacles and propel you forward.
Abandonment component:
Through advanced training you learn to:
• Discern acute abandonment crisis from chronic patterns such as mood or anxiety disorders, as well as long standing outer child patterns of self-sabotage.
• Distinguish normal (albeit intense) abandonment grief from the onset of major depression
• Identify acute symptoms of the emotional crisis of abandonment, including:
Re-emerging symbiotic feelings
Increased risk-taking
Neglected self-care
Anorexia
Suicidality
Panic
Need to self-medicate
Borderline regression and other forms of acting out
• Identify chronic (versus acute) symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder of Abandonment. In "Journey from Abandonment to Healing (pages 41-42)" I outline a complete list of abandonment’s posttraumatic symptoms, which comprise what I have come to call the “outer child syndrome.”
Outer Child Post Traumatic Syndrome:
Difficulty forming primary relationships
Rejection-sensitivity
Poor self-image
Addiction
Co-addiction
Chronic insecurity.
• Help clients work through tendency to get caught up in outer child patterns such as abandoholism or abandophobism, or stuck in one the five stages of abandonment grief.
• Deal with the intense transference that our clients exhibit during their abandonment crises including (when their Outer Children are most triggered):
Over-dependence upon therapist
Hostility
Missing appointments
Unrealistic expectations toward therapeutic process, etc.
• Discern client’s tendency to temporarily revert to default defenses, i.e. becoming over-controlling toward the abandoner, punitive, self-abdicating, and outer child maneuvers.
* Help the still fragile, narcissistically injured abandonment survivor move beyond protest, blame, self-denial, and acting out, and on toward emotional self-reliance, behavioral change, and increased capacity for love.
* Learn effective new tools experientially within the safety and open sharing of a supportive group process.
Abandoholics Anonymous Meetings
Do you have an Abandonment Addiction? Are You Love Addicted? Caught Up In Cycles of Abandonment?
Abandoholism is just like the other ‘oholisms. And this addictive pattern -- addicted to the unavailable -- is more prevalent than anyone imagines.
I would love to see 12-step-style meetings for “abandoholics anonymous” set up. Once word got out, these meetings certainlhy would be well atttended. Millions are afflicted with this love-defeating pattern.
Please contact me with your interest in creating a program like this so we can post your prospective groups.
Millions of people are caught up in this abandonment addiction. Many don’t realize it, but those who do find that awareness alone isn’t enough to break it.
Abandoholics anonymous meetings, once set up, would help people help each other break down these walls, uncross their “attachment wires,” and learn how to find, tolerate, and sustain love.
You also have the option to join or set up Outer Child / Abandonment Recovery Groups.